DAY THIRTY-THREE: YOU KNOW YOU'RE OLD WHEN...

Day Thirty-Two (Lom to Byala Spartina) Daily Distance: 100.20 kms

Day Thirty-Three (Byala Spartina to Levski) Daily Distance: 118.71 kms

Total Distance: 3056.38 kms

In Lom we met a lovely couple from Coventry, Jill and Peter, who are also riding to Istanbul. Having had dinner with them, we wished them good luck on their journey as they’re taking it slightly easier than us and so our paths wouldn’t cross again despite our similar itinerary. The next day they waved us goodbye from their hotel balcony in their pyjamas since they didn’t have such a great distance to cover and so would leave about an hour later. Well it would have been less than 30 minutes into their day that we met up on a steep, cobbled road – we had taken a leisurely 14 km or so detour on our way out of Lom! Forget fables about hares and tortoises, this was the real story on display (although they ride at far from tortoise-pace)! Later in the morning, as they passed us for the fourth time or so, I was convinced that they must have been thinking, “how on earth have these four men made it so far?!” (Truth be told, I’ve thought the very same thing to myself almost every day!)

It has been brutally hot for the past few days (a local today told us that it was 35◦C, but with no wind and steep-ish hills it even seems hotter) so yesterday we didn’t make it the full 140 kms that we had perhaps ambitiously hoped, settling for Byala Spartina after 100 kms. Not to worry, we’ve adjusted our itinerary over the next few days to make up the distance.

Today was equally hot, but with regular breaks we made it to Levski where, having seen nothing but poor farmland and run-down buildings all day (more on this in a future blog), we miraculously stumbled across the most modern hotel that could possibly exist in Bulgaria. Words really can’t describe our surprise at finding this absolute gem of a hotel, with its ultra-modern interior, impeccably clean, spacious, air-conditioned rooms, funky bar, and classy restaurant that is obviously the ‘place to be’ in Levski on a Friday night.

Because of the heat we have recently started leaving as early as possible, although I am thankful that our departure time has been delayed tomorrow so that I can try to watch the AFL Grand Final featuring my beloved Swannies – GO THE BLOODS!!!

On another note, having spent over a week riding beside the Danube we waved it goodbye as we left Lom, as that was the last time that we would see it on this trip. During the time we’ve paralleled it, I have gradually become more convinced that this should be called the ‘Distinguished Valley’ rather than the ‘Danube Valley’. By distinguished I don’t mean notable or renowned, although both of those it is, but rather I mean mature, aged, adult, grown-up.

You see, it is nothing to do with the valley itself but instead those that occupy it. And i’m not just referring to my fellow cyclists, but rather every long-distance cyclist we’ve seen on the paths and roads in this valley. With no word of a lie in 33 days I am the only long-distance (or ‘touring’) cyclist that we have seen below the age of 40. Granted, there are not too many 20-something year olds who can afford the luxury of an entire month off in summer, but it must also be noted that we have been riding during the traditional holiday period for Europeans, as well as the University break. This is to say that I really don’t think that twenty to forty-year olds are busy doing other things at this time of year, or settle for shorter cycling trips, or cycling trips in other locations – I think that twenty and thirty-year olds just don’t do touring.

Rather than feeling disheartened or out of place, I feel lucky to have discovered the joy of touring (and ‘caught the bug’) at such a young age as 28: Jim caught it only 10 years ago; Dan, eight years; Alan, just three. This blog has I’m sure made it obvious that this trip has been an absolute delight for me. I have seen a lot, laughed a lot, listened a lot, eaten a lot and of course, cycled a lot, but above all else I have learned a lot: about cycling, geography, Hungarian food, the town of Érd, Europe, Europeans, and my parents generation – you know, the distinguished ones.

The latter is thanks to countless hours spent observing and talking to the three wise men, who the other night pointed out that my next touring buddies will have a lot to live up to given that I have nearly two centuries worth of experience and stories beside me on this trip! So it based on these observations and experiences that I have compiled a list of telltale signs that...

You know you’re old when:

·         The focus of drinking games changes from not spilling while drinking, to not dribbling while drinking;

·         Singing songs from the 60’s and 70’s at the dinner table (in unison by lyrics but not necessarily tune) becomes a source of pride rather than embarrassment;

·         You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions;

·         Waking three or more times a night to pee is perfectly normal;

·         You don’t care what others think of your appearance;

·         The prospect of a beer garden is exciting more for the seats than the beer;

·         A 60-year-old can be sexy (and every 20-year-old, 30-year-old, 40-year-old and 50-year-old still is);

·         The following statement is true: “It takes me all night to do what I used to do all night”;

·         Happy hour is a nap;

·         You think that an MMS is a form of multiple sclerosis rather than a specific type of SMS, woah;

·         More sunscreen is applied to the top of the head than the front of it;

·         You think that Kosovo and Macedonia are regions, not countries, and possibly that there still exists a country called ‘Yugoslavia’;

·         Most of your sentences begin with, "When I was your age...";

·         When faced with a steep descent on your bike, instead of thinking of fun and excitement, you’re wondering what conditions are like at the local hospital;

·         Your most successful selling point to young European ladies is “I’m very rich, you know”;

·         Anything after 11.00pm you feel is past your bedtime;

·         It takes up to a day to recall authors, musicians, book titles, bridesmaid’s names, quotes etc;

·         A blog is an abbreviation of a ‘brown log’, or a written record of bees, rather than an open online diary;

·         Any eatery or other venue that plays music at a volume greater than ‘moderate’ is known as a ‘disco’;

·         If a story is worth telling, it’s worth telling (at least) every five days;

and finally, you know you’re old when...

·         You are a touring cyclist.

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Post Script: I would like to acknowledge the contributions that my fellow (distinguished) cyclists have made to this list. I would also like to clarify that this was compiled with deep and great respect for individuals that are certainly not ‘old’, as proven by the fact that they have ridden further every day for the last month than most teenagers would or could in a week.