DAY TEN: WIGGO, SATNAV, MR WHIPPY AND THE GROCER

Day Nine (Mainz to Miltenberg) Daily Distance: 108.84 kms

  

Day Ten (Miltenberg to Rothenberg) Daily Distance: 118.08 kms

Total Distance: 977.07 kms

Day Nine was pleasant but rather uneventful. We set off from Mainz where we had stayed at a rather lovely ‘Bike and Bed’, a German equivalent of B&B but for cyclists. The waitress on our arrival night was very chatty and helpful, obliged us by speaking in very slow German so that we could learn a little more, and ordered us not to eat schnitzel: “all the tourists do!” The food was great, the view very nice and location handy for our departure. We headed into the Main Valley and after a morning weaving through empty forests we spent the afternoon cruising through farms and down the Main river on wide carpet-like roads with the wind at our back – very helpful for progress.

On arrival in Miltenberg it was immediately obvious that this is a very pretty town, with a stunning historic Old Town featuring many timber-frame houses:

Mr Whippy, SatNav and The Grocer

Less obvious was that the hotel that we chose, which looked quaint and medieval from the outside, was actually run by the German version of The Adams Family. Less than 5 minutes from our arrival, this is the conversation that we had with a child of approximately 12 years of age (seriously) who we supposed was somehow linked to the hotel:

Small Child: “Sie konnen nicht verlassen ihre fahrrader gibt!” (You cannot leave your bikes there!)
Parri: “Ya, OK.”
Small Child: “Und die tore werden spater schloss heute” (And the gates will shut later tonight!)
Dan: “Welche Zeit...” (What time?)
Small Child: “neun dreißig.”

The strange thing was that some older man (his father? the owner? let's call him Gomez...) was next to him at the time, looking blankly / angrily at us. And it was clear that the kid wasn’t simply doing the talking because he spoke English ... because he didn’t. Creepy. I wondered whether the family had a condition which prevented smiles forming on their faces, so toyed with the idea of busting out The Parri-Dance just to see (it’s impossible not to laugh at that...) but decided against it for fear of being locked in the basement. It was the worst service I’ve ever had and I’ve stayed in my fair share of hotels, including in this country, over the past few years. Worse was that our rooms somewhat resembled the dormitory room of a student who had no belongings, personality or indeed constitutional rights.

Today, Day Ten, we upped and left our cells as early as possible, firstly because it was a creepy place to be, and secondly because we knew we had a fair distance plus some decent hills to conquer en route to Rothenberg. The morning was brilliant – it was nice to have our first truly hilly day, because while the ups were pretty tough, the downs were as fun as ever! I hit 67.7km/hr which will probably be hard to beat given we’re soon entering the Danube Valley.

There were mixed feeling in the period after lunch. I was quietly relieved that our breakfast had apparently not been poisoned by Morticia or Fester, but that jubilation was somewhat tainted by the sudden disappearance of Jim, who is of course the only one of us without a mobile phone and so is not accessible. While we fretted and circled the town looking for him, he was merrily on his was to Rothenberg, where after being called all sorts of names over the last 40 kms or so, we found him several hours later sitting in the main square of Rothenberg blissfully unaware of the chaos that had been caused!

We had even sent messages for him back and forwards with different cyclists, including two women from the USA that we met at morning tea. They had twice as much gear as us so naturally we asked what their final destination was: Istanbul. With this common bond we chatted a few minutes longer and established that they don’t intend on arriving there until at least 10 weeks after us! As we would later discover when they overtook us (twice), this isn’t because they travel slowly, but rather they have planned a much less direct route – not only have they already travelled 1500kms from Amsterdam, but they are heading much further south than us to go through Slovenia, Croatia and along the Adriatic. Most shocking of all was that they intend on doing this all on a daily budget of €15pp!

At the moment €15 per day would barely cover Alan’s ice cream budget ... and it is for this reason that he has become ‘Mr Whippy’. I have to say that his ice cream obsession is quickly getting rather out of hand. It becomes the sole focus of each afternoon, as we try to find the best ice cream place and, once there, the best the menu has to offer. Yesterday I had an affogato (which, by the way, is named after the Italian word for ‘drowned’ since the ice cream is drowned in coffee...) which was the largest I’ve ever seen. I nearly went for a run on arrival to work it off!

On the other hand, if Jim was to control our finances then €15 per day could well be enough for all FOUR of us! He has an uncanny ability to hunt down a ‘Netto’ (cheap supermarket chain) at about lunch time – we think that he probably owns some of their shares – and today he bought lunch for four fully grown men for €4, IN TOTAL!! Unbelievable... This skill has earned Jim the nickname ‘The Grocer’!

As previously mentioned, Dan has become ‘SatNav' for understandable reasons, although we are increasingly concerned that we may have old software loaded onto our SatNav. Today after lunch we came to a crossroads, with a large sign saying “Romantische Straße – Rothenberg” pointing in one direction and a small local sign pointing the other. A no-brainer for three of us, but SatNav stood there defiantly saying “but my map says we go THIS way”, pointing down a side street. Eventually a postman came to our rescue, and as we rolled down the main road following the dozens of ‘Rothenberg’ signs, SatNav quietly mumbled to me, “sorry, I think my battery needs recharging”! (It was actually at this moment that we lost Jim – we later discovered that he had less patience than Alan and I and so rode off on the correct route as we tried to make SatNav see it our way...)

And finally, I am now constantly referred to as ‘Wiggo’ (after Bradley Wiggins, recent winner of ‘Le Tour’) given my apparently sleek riding style and tendency to slip off the front and drift into the distance. (Perhaps it also has something to do with the facial hair?! I’m considering turning it into Wiggo sideburns later in the trip...)

You may have noticed that our itinerary has varied slightly from that planned. The main difference is that we decided against going to Frankfurt because it was added effort for not much reward, so instead we headed via a slightly altered route straight to Rothenberg where tomorrow we will enjoy our first rest day! Well deserved, I think, after 10 days straight on the bike and more than 100 kms for the past 7 of those...



Our route so far...